Goodbye
by Deana-Samantha
Summary: It's pretty sad saying goodbye to some one who you know you're not going to see for a while but what about saying goodbye to some one you know you're not going to see ever again. Just my random thoughts.


Summary: It's pretty sad saying goodbye to some one who you know you're not going to see for a while but what about saying goodbye to some one you know you're not going to see ever again. Just my random thoughts.

Samantha: Now that I re-read this it doesn't really make a lot of sense, but I was sad when I wrote it then first time then dizzy from smoke inhalation the next, cos they were burning back above the school today, so yeah. I apologise for the weirdness of this and my bad spelling.

Deana: You think you have a smoke problem? I had to _tape _my door shut and I have towels over everything…

Samantha: Dean? We live in the same house…

**Goodbye by Samantha**

Sam knelt on the cold earth, not caring that one arm hung limply by his side, not caring that he could barely see through one eye, swollen shut.

All that registered in his numb, battle shaken mind was the fact that this was his last conversation with his brother, that this was his last chance to say what he really meant, that if he got it wrong this time he wouldn't have a chance to reconcile it.

He cleared his burning throat nervously and reached across the seeping pool of blood to pull his brother gently, fearful of causing him more pain, over to look him in the eye.

The misty hazel eyes blinked once or twice as a semi-conscious Dean tried to bring his brother into focus out of the darkness.

"Sam?" Dean's voice was strong, belying the weak grip he kept on Sam's hand.

"Hey." Sam smiled down at his brother, defying the tears that ran down his face entry into his voice. Hoping Dean would fail to notice in the dark. But Dean dashed his hopes.

His brother knew him too well, either that or there was more of a sob in his voice than he thought. Dean reached up, carefully brushing a tear off his cheek and smiling gently.

"Don't cry for me Sam, think of all the good times. Times we had together and times you'll have in the future."

"Dean, there is no future without you. The ambulance is coming Dean, just hold on until then and everything'll be alright. We'll pull through this, you just gotta hold on Dean." Sam trailed off into silence, no longer sure if he was reassuring himself, or his brother, with these lies.

"Sam there's nothing they can do for me. I want you to go with them and don't you look back. No one but us needs to know that something happened here tonight. Hell, I'm already legally dead. But when you come back, after you're all better I mean, I want you to burn my body. I don't want to be one of them. Promise me Sammy?"

Dean's voice was becoming weaker with every passing moment and Sam knew there was no time left to argue.

He felt like a child again. A child looking for reassurance which wasn't there anymore. Reassurance which, in all likelihood, would never be there again. It was an unpleasant experience; it was like trying to sit down and finding the chair had been pulled out from under you.

So Sam did what he'd seen Dean do so many times before and yet never had to do for himself. He pulled all the hurt back inside him and put what his brother needed first:

"I promise Dean. I love you." Sam felt the last words slip out without his conscious consent. Sam smiled down to his brother.

Ignoring the tears running down his face, ignoring the blood soaking through the knee of his jeans, careless of future questioning. In that moment all there was in the world was him and his brother, in their last moments of life together, saying goodbye.

Dean smiled back up at Sam, not really seeing him any more; the figure leaning over him was now a much missed one, more of a fond image than an actual memory.

"Sam," Dean called, looking around for his brother, "Sammy, mum's waiting."

"Go with her Dean," Sam whispered, looking down into his brothers suddenly much younger face "I'll see you on the other side."

Dean's eyes focused one more time

"Goodbye Sammy." he smiled and was gone, flying in the clear night, held tight in the arms of some one he had loved and lost.

In that moment, with that smile, as Dean let go of life, Sam felt his heart break. He had thought it had broken before, he had stopped living for a while when Jess had died.

But that was nothing compared to what he felt now. Now he had lost the one person who understood him. The one person who had been there to talk him back from the brink of insanity when his heart tore, and now that person was gone.

In that moment Sam became some one else. He was no longer, and never would be again, Sammy. He lived only to save others, to stop humans from feeling the pain which was the only thing that kept him going.

But his heart wasn't in it; his heart had been lost to him when Dean dragged part of it down into the darkness with him.

Sam had always thought they would go together in some massive final showdown, holding each other up and firing until the end, but Dean had died here fighting a simple demon in an abandoned warehouse in the centre of nowhere.

Sam would always feel the part of him that had died in that dark, desolate place with Dean. It was the part of him that lived with Dean, the innocent part that Dean sheltered, the flame Dean kept alight.

The part of him that answered to Sammy.

As Sam discreetly left the warehouse that night he whispered his words to the cold night air, soon lost amid the flashing lights and screaming sirens.

"Goodbye Dean, goodbye...Sammy."

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Samantha: Ok, you guys probably deserve an explanation for the whole death thing, I think it's pretty sad but you might just think I'm weird. I was home alone last night and reading really sad oneshots and talking to my friends, then I had to say goodbye to some one and I started thinking about what would happen when Sam and Dean would have to say goodbye and I didn't think Dean would just wander off and have to say goodbye forever for no good reason, so yeah, that's my excuse for killing Dean. Sorry Deana.

Deana: -sobbing somewhere in background- It was good though –rocking backwards and forwards- Samantha's still here. Sam'll love me; he loves me, Sam's here, Sam's here, Sam's here, Sam's here!

Samantha:yes Dean, I'm sure Sam still loves you, and I'm here -smiles evilly- Please Review.


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